Atomic TV

Atomic TV’s 1998 Holiday Special: “The Year Underdog Saved Christmas”

Posted on December 13, 2018 by Scott Huffines

Join Atomic TV co-hosts Tom Warner and Scott Huffines as they once again discover the “true” meaning of Christmas. Atomic TV used to think the holidays were all about eatin’, drinkin’ and grabbin’ some Piece on Earth at the local strip club. But this year, we learned that Christmas is about the sacred and the traditional – all thanks to Underdog Lady (Suzanne Muldowney). Like Santa Claus, Underdog comes down from the North (well, New Jersey) once a year to bring her gifts to Baltimore, where she uses the “medium of dance” to portray her favorite canine cartoon superhero in the Hampden Christmas Parade. But this year, Diva ‘Dog brings another gift – her perfect-pitch soprano voice – to the celebration, singing sacred songs accompanied by the rollicking frollicking of local instro-mentalists Garage Sale! Plus, enjoy the usual secular blasphemy: Jesus promoting his “New Testament” wine cooler, Santa getting his traditional lap-dance from a surgically enhanced stripper, winos spitting in fruitcake, ‘Nam vets in the eerie “Reindeer Hunter” Xmas parade float, Tiny Tom coming out of the closet, vintage retro holiday ads, Xmas film trailers and Lorne Greene’s legendary holiday soliloquoy.

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Atomic TV’s 1997 Holiday Special: The “Holiday at Ground Zero” Episode

Posted on December 12, 2018 by Scott Huffines

We put the X in Xmas when a politically incorrect Santa Claus comes to Atomic Books to teach Atomic TV’s elfin Tiny Tom and Scott “Scrooge” Huffines the true meaning of Christmas: pure and unadulterated sleaze. When he’s not thumbing through ANAL PLEASURE & HEALTH at Atomic Books, randy Santa is visiting strip clubs to get lap dances from surgically augmented dancers (on Donna, on Vixen!)… spanking bad go-go gals with his big peppermint candy cane… listening to the raucous rock caroling of local troubadors Garage Sale and The Krudz… and getting plastered on cheap brewskis before passing out in a pool of his own sick… Also see the incredible Boumi Temple Shriners and Howard Stern nutcase Suzanne Muldowney (Underdog Lady) take part in the Mayor’s Annual Holiday Parade in Baltimore’s White Trash Mecca, Hampden… see James Brown literally go straight to the ghetto for holiday cheer, see Joe Friday lay a nativity Dragnet to snare the missing baby Jesus, plus enjoy vintage Christmas cartoons and drive-in trailers!

Parade Highlights

“Underdog Lady”	“Tiny Tom” Warner
Outside Atomic Books	Santa grabs a Bud!
“Bang! That’s Wild!”	“The Krudz” are jammin!
“Mmmm… tastes like plastic… Lick it up!”	“The Krudz” perform “Heat Miser/Cold Miser”
“Look Santa! More beer!”	Instro-mentalists “Garage Sale”



Mychelle takes Santa and Tiny Tom to KAOS for holiday lap dances!	Say “hello” to “Britney” and prepare for a lap dance!




Tiny Tom: “Thanks for getting me a lap dance, Santa! God Bless Us All!”	Santa has too much “holiday cheer” and pukes his guts out

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Dead Air exhibition at at the Metro Gallery

Posted on December 11, 2018 by Scott Huffines

Dead Air: The End of Analog
Atomic TV Highlights Reel, 2009

Lost Signals

Wily exhibition pays respects to a possibly vanishing aspects of a mass medium

…”The furtive aesthetic of Davis’ video is matched, in an odd way, by Scott Huffines and erstwhile City Paper contributor Tom Warner, whose public access show Atomic TV gets a retrospective here. Although the public access series ended in 2005, with the bulk of the episodes having been produced in the late 1990s, its inclusion acknowledges that with the loss of broadcast television, other things, such as public access, may go as well. Huffines and Warner acknowledge that many changes in the new millennium, from digital videotape to YouTube to the sour economy, led to the discontinuation of their project. To see it here is to remember what’s possible when you can assume that a viewer will watch something for more than a minute and, more importantly, lives in your hometown.”

Continue reading “Lost Signals” at Baltimore City Paper.

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Atomic TV’s “Atomic Cocktail Hours”

Posted on December 11, 2018 by Scott Huffines

Resistance is futile, so Atomic TV has decided to jump on the Lounge-a-palooza bandwagon, pledge allegiance to the Cocktail Nation and embrace Swankness in all its fez-hatted, zoot-suited, retro swing silliness… First up is a vintage commercial break paying homage to our legendary local blue-collar brew, Natty Boh. Then we drop by our fave watering hole, Henninger’s Tavern, where owner Kenny Vieth spoils us with food and drink while we we enjoy “incredibly strange space-age bachelor pad exotica” music videos by Combustible Edison, Korla Pandit, Martin Denny, Spike Jones & His City Slickers, a rare Raymond Scott Quintette film appearance, 1940’s “Soundies” music shorts, the hepcat hokum of Baltimore’s own Swingin’ Swamis, Don Knotts as “The Love God,” tributes to patron Saints of Swing Dean Martin and Buddy Love and assorted clips from drinkin’ flicks! Time flies when you’re having rum, so “drink up and be somebody!”
(approx 150 minutes, DVD-R)

Atomic TV’s “Atomic Cocktail Hour” Part 1 (archive.org)

Atomic TV’s “Atomic Cocktail Hour” Part 2 (archive.org)

Atomic TV’s “Tribute to Natty Boh”
From the Atomic TV archives comes these classic animated commercials touting Baltimore’s favorite cheap beverage! Keep an eye out for the “Natty Fro” commercial at the end.

“I Love It! The Greatest!”

“Natty Fro”

“Boom! Atomic Cocktail!”

Henninger’s Tavern

Combustible Edison

Baltimore’s own Swingin’ Swamis

Atomic TV’s Scott Huffines and Tom Warner

Don Knotts is “The Love God?”

“The Love God?” movie trailer

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Posted in Episode Guide | Tagged atomic cocktail, national bohemian, national premium, natty boh | 1 Comment

Atomic TV’s Tribute to Black History

Posted on December 10, 2018 by Scott Huffines

Once you go Black, you never go back! Case in point, Atomic TV went black on Baltimore’s public access airwaves shortly after broadcasting our legendary “Black History Month” tribute – one of our most popular episodes ever! – in February 2003. Over the course of the next 2 hours, you’ll see shout-outs not just to the usual legends on display at Baltimore’s Great Blacks in Wax Museum, but also to leaders in other less-heralded fields of Black achievement – like Black Porn Stars – Jack Napier the “The Joker with the Foot-Long Poker,”, Menage-a-Trois and her foot-long tongue, Sierra, Chaos, Marc 9X7, Nikki Fairchild, Sean Michaels – and Rappers who Glorify Da Booty, plus Blaxploitation stars Rudy Ray Moore (Dolemite!), Pam Grier and Isaac “Truck Turner” Hayes, Mr. T., Blowfly, sideshow freak “Popeye,” Pee-Wee Herman’s “King of Cartoons,” William Marshall and a special shout-out to Bawlmer’s Eldorado Lounge – the place that inspired us to create Atomic TV back in 1997. So get funky with it and check it out, yo!