Atomic TV #26: The “Spring Cleaning” Episode Part 1

We’ve decided to clean out our vast (and overflowing!) backlog of taped segments and foist them on unsuspecting Baltimore audiences. And what better way to start Spring Cleaning than with one’s own body? Yes, ATOMIC TV proudly presents the educational short “It’s Potty Time,” which features such musical hits as “I’m a Super Duper Pooper” and “Wipe, Wipe, Wipe Yourself, Always Front to Back.” Next up, our terrified cameras descend on the Black Trenchcoat Crowd during “Bound: S&M Fetish Night” at the goth mecca Club Orpheus. The we smoothly seque from freaks to geeks, as we cover last year’s revenge of the nerds at the Senator Theater premiere of THE PHANTOM MENACE and Underdog Lady’s appearance at the Balticon Sci-Fi convention. Along the way we also pay homage to B.O. commercials and old Natty Boh ads and show two Pizzicato Five videos from the hip Tokyo combo’s latest international release, PLAYBOY & PLAYGIRL. Plus a special remix of our popular “Underwear Dance”.


It’s Potty Time! clip


Chris Jensen Underwear Dance Redux
Another look at Baltimore plumber Chris Jensen’s well-soiled Underwear Dance.


Atomic TV visits “Fetish Night” at Club Orpheus

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Atomic TV #8: The “Dating Do’s & Don’ts” Episode

Attention all you wood-be Svengali’s and estrus-oozing Mati Hari’s. We collected the best pickup lines overheard at the Cross Street Meet Market during the ’97 Cross Street Festival and tempered them with the timeless advice of vintage 50s how-to mating and dating films like Dating Do’s and Don’ts, Junior Prom and Going Steady all as a public cervix to Baltimore singles. We even got the Martha Stewart of Dating Etiquette, legendary local bachelorette Chastity Darling (You’ve no doubt witnessed her shameless flirting at her habitual weekend roost ,The Club Charles), to host our special. From “Do you have mirrors in your pockets, ’cause I can see myself in your pants?” to “Didn’t we meet before, at the methadone clinic?” we’ve got the best and worst pickup lines for you to gag on or put to use (or abuse).

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Atomic TV: The “For the Glory” Episode

In “For the Glory,” Atomic TV cameraman, Baltimore celebrity plumber and underwear model Chris Jensen documents the American Visionary Art Museum’s first Kinetic Sculpture Race which took place in 1999. The second half of the episode covers the opening of the ill-fated Planet Hollywood at Harborplace in ’99, and features John Waters, Bruce Willis, Jim Palmer and Stella Gambino in all their Hollywood East glory.

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Atomic TV #17: The “Baltimore Local Music” Episode

Atomic TV presents a sampling of Baltimore troubadours past and present, captured live and in canned videos. Get your groove on with Garage Sale, Sick, Blister Freak Circus, Dirty Sanchez, Berserk, Gerty, The Put-Outs, The Beltways, The Kicksouls, Mark Harp plus DC’s prodigal son Tommy Keene and Maypole’s infamous appearance on The Jerry Springer Show!

Atomic TV – Maypole on Jerry Springer from Atomic TV on Vimeo.

Read more about Maypole at Tom Warner’s Accelerated Decrepitude.

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Berserk – My Love Is So Big from Atomic TV #3 on Vimeo.

Berserk – Ultra 7 from Atomic TV on Vimeo.

A lo-fi music video of perhaps the best song by Baltimore’s reigning ’90s hi-fly purveyors of pop-punk, Berserk. Berserk bassist Dave Cawley believes his life would be different if only he could be alien superhero “Ultra 7” – like, he’d have a mighty ‘morphin girlfriend, fight monsters, and be able to buy his vegan friend Brent “a burrito without any meato.” Berserk is: Brent Malkus (guitar, vocals), David Cawley (bass, vocals) and Skizz Cyzyk (drums).

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Atomic TV’s “You Asked For It!” Part 3

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